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The original item was published from 8/3/2016 2:52:45 PM to 9/13/2016 6:40:02 AM.

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Posted on: August 3, 2016

[ARCHIVED] Winey Wednesday Lunch News Flash

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All vague references to our yet again fun cootie spreading topics of lunch so welcome to Wednesday's Winey Lunch News Flash!! And let me remind you all once again, when said at lunch... it stays at lunch. But lets fill you in anyway: When the waitress says "Tea?" with that knowing look at one of your members, you know she "knows" them and therefore you now have free reign of behavior, at least until other customers start to wander in. And $7 for sugar, lets just say that it's worth it and worth the laughs for everyone, so don't complain and just enjoy the show. This time at least we were the first there and happily allowed our cooties to breed like Tribbles (look it up, you'll thank me) around the place. At least until the owner gave us the "kill the cooties" look when strangers started to wander in. Which meant the cootie breeding needed to be put on ice... but Dammit Man, We're The Lunch News Flash, not Doctors!! We did of course run into a bastion of fellow cootie-dispensing-dom and had to shout out from our middle of the room table, spewing cooties as we did so. We also discovered with astounding clarity that if your Tooth Fairy is on AWAL just swing it and tell them she was really busy last night, her wings broke down, or there was overindulgence involved. Any particular way, just don't forget to dispense the cash, either for your souvenir or paying them to put it in the trash so you don't step on it a 3 am on your way to the Loo. Your call. And if you don't have a fire place for Santa, just tell him he's a flash of white on the game cam and then set off a glitter bomb and tell your child that he can teleport himself by magic glitter farts...or that a unicorn pooped in your living room. Again, your call, we're open minded and non-judgmental, or at least less so than Proper Folks.
I sign off now on my final post, unfortunately due to legal issues there will be no public continuation of these posts once we go live. Such a sad contemplation, it would help cure stick-in-the-butt syndrome for so many sad souls out there. Kisses and smooches to you all!!

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